Liquid Gold

Attention Men: You want to know the fastest route to retirement?  It’s located in a bottle of THIS:

Abercrombie Woods Cologne

I am not kidding.  Allow me to explain…

I think my sense of smell has to be my most developed of the five – I’m sure my parents would agree that it is certainly not hearing…  Although I am a bit scent-sensitive, I love how a scent can transport you back in time.  I’ll smell industrial cleaner and immediately think of sleep-away camp or my sorority house.  Dryer sheets make me think of my mom.  Bath + Body Works “Plumeria” Body Spray reminds me of my junior high locker room.  Firewood reminds me of the holidays.  And, Abercrombie Woods cologne makes me think of being young. 

All the boys wore it during high school.  It is very identifiable and still gives me butterflies in my stomach.  I ran out of perfume the other night at Slick’s house when I was getting ready for dinner and fished around in his drawer to find something I could spritz instead.  

Infallible Logic: Slick wears cologne.  He likes how his cologne smells.  If I wear his cologne (for one night), he’s obviously going to like how it smells on me because, well, he bought it… 

Anyway, he has about 30 cologne bottles in a drawer under his sink.  I reached to the bottom, and much to my surprise, I came up with a bottle of Abercrombie Woods.  I sprayed it on and Slick complimented me on it twice before we left his place. 

The next day, I wore it again.  We decided that Woods was probably one of the best colognes ever created, and although we didn’t realize it before, we had missed it.  I noticed that the bottle was dangerously low, and since V-Day is quickly approaching, I went online to see if I could order him a replacement.   Well, that is just not happening.  (Sorry, Slick.) 

Much to my dismay, Abercrombie stopped producing Woods in winter 2005.  WHY?!  Seriously, why would they do that?!  Obviously I haven’t been into A+F in five years to know that it was discontinued, but STILL.  It was such an amazing cologne!  I just cannot believe that they stopped making it!  I am astonished.

Now, you can get a bottle on Amazon for a whopping $299: http://bit.ly/7fMqrh
(Sold a bit cheaper on Perfume Network, but still… http://bit.ly/7hWaDT)
While I do enjoy a good sale and love finding bargains, I am certainly not cheap.  However, I cannot even imagine paying upwards of $200 for Abercrombie cologne.  I just can’t!

Unbelievable.

Moral of the story:  Never throw anything away.  If you happen to still have a bottle of Woods that you bought in 2001 for $38.00 – Don’t. Use. It.  Don’t let your girlfriend use it when she runs out of perfume.  Sell it on eBay and go to Vegas.  Go to Bacchanalia.  Give it to your favorite bloggers…  Just keep it far away from me, please.  = Torture. 

xx, L