Motherly Advice.

It’s DK’s birthday today.

In honor of our wonderful, beautiful, fabulous mother, I enlisted the help of my seestah in order to share some pearls of wisdom we have picked up from her over the years with all you lovely readers.

Here they are in top 10 format:

10. “You can sleep when you die.”
This is the quintessential DK catch phrase. The woman goes 90 to nothing every single day: exercise, shopping, errands, grooming, charity boards, social life, social life, social life, dogs, gossip, work, social life, social life, social life, and my dear ol’ dad. All this and she still knows every detail of mine and Katie’s (and now Brian’s!) lives, reads a zillion books (all biographies, darling.), and knows what happened on the Today show each day. She packs so much in, and never EVER seems overwhelmed. It’s one of the things I like best about her: she knows she can’t do everything, go everywhere, see everything or be all things to all people, but darn it, she’s trying.

Multi-tasking

9. “Michelle told me ____. And you know, Michelle knows everything.”
FYI: Michelle is my mom’s manicurist. I swear, the DK could meet the Dali Lama and would still run his advice by Michelle. But, as it turns out, Michelle DOES know everything. My point? DK always knows the exact right person to ask for anything she may need, and exactly the right WAY in which to ask for it. Its really uncanny. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t do a favor for my mom. But I’ll tell you: she knows our garbage men by name and bakes cookies for the mail man. She knows she needs to lay her southern accent on thick when requesting tough-to-score dinner reservations in NYC and how to stroke the ego of a gruff person in order to get them to yield to her desires. This is one of my favorite lessons I learned from my mom – the people that seem the most important aren’t always so, and you don’t have be a bulldozer to get what you want. Be kind to everyone, and always ask nicely first.

8. “Nothing is more important than proper skincare.”
There is one word to describe her nightly routine: Intense. There are more little bottles and potions on the woman’s dresser than I have ever seen in my life. But whatever, it must work. The woman looks goooooooood. If I’ve learned anything from my mother it could be summed up in two words: “Moisturizer” and “Sunscreen.”

7. “2 square burgers and a real Coca-Cola: life just doesn’t get any better than this.”
DK loves All Things Fancy. But every so often, we’ll get a call from her from the parking lot of Krystal where she is happy as a clam, enjoying her sliders and fountain Coke from the comfort of her driver’s seat. And sometimes she’ll lament the fact that we don’t “live somewhere you can pass the dip around in the jar.” I have a sneaking suspicion that she wouldn’t be happy in that environment for very long, but I love that she taught us to appreciate the simple things in life as well as the chi chi la la.

6. “Build a bridge”/”Fake it till you make it.”
Once, I called DK and very dramatically announced, “Ugh, I am depressed!” to which she responded, “Well, stop being depressed.” Which, admittedly, does not sound very helpful, but does encompass her philosophy on dealing with adversity. Handle whatever problems need to be handled, but beyond that: you can be sad for one day, but then move on with your life. Be productive, you’ll feel better. Also, if you’re not feeling totally confident, act confidently and eventually you will be.

DK + Her biggest fans

5. “Mind your manners.”
Emily Post doesn’t have ANYTHING on DK. Growing up, she stressed not only the importance of “please” and “thank you” and knowing the appropriate fork to use, but also the importance of always being considerate of others, never showing up to someone’s home empty handed, and thank you notes for EVERYTHING. I used to think all her little rules were very, very silly, but now I’m oh, so grateful (and also know to pay special attention to the men who open your car doors, stand up when you leave the table and when you come back, and walk on the traffic-side of the sidewalk: they were “raised right.”)

One of my prized possessions:

The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Contemporary Living (copyright 1972)
On the inside, an inscription from my grandmother to my mom:
“To Donna Lee – to eliminate the possibility of your ever doing anything wrong! 12-25-78)”
And another from DK to me:
“To Lauren Renee – to eliminate the possibility of your ever doing anything wrong! 08-15-07)”

4. “Oh, I wish I could! But I don’t want to.”
In other words, the importance of saying “no.” Perhaps the reason DK never seems stretched too thinly is because she knows her limitations and how to decline gracefully. And she is always, always having fun. Trust.

DK + DK

3. “Take your medicine.”
You know the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding? How he thinks that everything can be cured by Windex? Well, same goes for my mom only for her, it’s Fish Oil, Echinacea (“Get it RIGHT NOW while we’re on the phone. Or you’ll forget.”), Red Wine, and DanActive.

2. “Be nice to your sister, one day she’ll be your best friend.”
Right again, DK.

1. “Don’t waste today”
Don’t save cute outfits or nice perfume for special occasions. Wear them to the grocery store or to the nail salon. Fix your hair and wear makeup. Feel good about yourself. You never know who you may run into or meet and you don’t know how many “good” days you’ll have left. Do it now, do it now, do it now! DK and all her girlfriends share this belief. In fact, in her circle of friends, “You didn’t waste today!” has become synonymous with “You look great!” and I love that.

Happy happy birthday mom! And thanks for all the fabulous advice.

xx, L (+K!)