“Cooking” w/L+L: Insta-party!

Listen, Martha Stewart I’m not. When I lived in NYC, we used our kitchen for storage (oven rack? More like shoe rack!) The best thing I make is reservations. In other words, I do not cook.

But I looooove to entertain…and unless you want all your cocktail party guests to crash on your couch, you have to serve more than vodka + sodas. Trust.

I’m not one to brag, but I can throw a nice little gathering together in a flash. A trip to Tower Liquor notwithstanding, all you need to make is one stop.

Get a Costco card immediately if you do not have one already. I know it’s dangerously close to being OTP, but trust me, it’s worth the schlep. Here’s what you need:

1. A tub of Hannah Hummus (or Sabra if you prefer, they have both.) Plain.
2. Olive Tapenade (same section, in the back refrigerators)
3. A carton of their gloriously plump and delicious black grapes
4. A big ‘ol wedge of brie cheese
5. A carton of Carr’s Table Water crackers (the enormo one at Costco will come with 2 plain, 1 sesame, 1 cracked pepper and 1 garlic + herb. It’s perfect.)
6. Stacey’s Naked Pita Chips
7. A big bag of baby carrots

Get all your serving pieces ready, put plain hummus in one bowl and put the olive tapenade over hummus in another bowl. Place your brie and grapes on a wooden cheese plate (I also like to throw down some walnuts but whatevs.) You can even do it up big time and fill a bowl with…wait for it, this is really fancy…Ranch Dressing.

And Voila! You’re the hostess with the mostess! (I will say, though, sometimes when I serve this combo, I like to have one hot app. A really Q+DD one I throw together is just a can of artichoke hearts, 3/4 cup mayo, 3/4 cup grated parm, a dash of garlic powder, a few shakes of Tabasco. Mix it all up and throw it in the oven in a small loaf shaped pyrex at 350 for a half hour. When it comes out, sprinkle the top with paprika so it looks fancier.)

Ok, here’s a new thing. Sweets are usually not in my repertoire, but I learned one last night that I think even I can handle. Sorry for giving away your secret, E, but these Pretzel Turtles were ta die fah, dah-ling. HUGE hit over here.

Ok, here’s what you need: pecan halves (E says you can use any kind of nut), mini pretzels (E used the square kind, they were presh.) and Rolo chocolate candies.

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350

2. Unwrap your Rolos

3. Do not eat all of your Rolos immediately.

4. Place your pretzels on a baking sheet in one layer, place a Rolo on each pretzel.

5. Bake for 3-5 minutes until the chocolate just begins to melt (candy should be soft, but not totally melted.)

6. Remove from the oven and put them on a cooling rack (with a spatula, y’all.) and squish the Rolo candy with a nut.

7. Let them cool and put them on a fancy dish and you are almost just like Rachel Ray! (without those terrible Henley shirts and heinous belts…)

So now you’re set! Oh, and don’t forget to get the BIG olives for your martinis. There’s nothing DK + I hate worse than a teeny olive.

NOW you’re all set.

xx, L